Open Burning..pt2

The Video Proof

Here's the video at Youtube of yesterday's posting about open Burning in Klang.

Isn't this Banned?

Under Your Noses!

Blardy hell! I thought open burning is not allowed? What da fcuk the authorities are doing about the open burning under their own noses and only some hundred of metres near the NKVE toll gates off Setia Alam, Shah Alam, Selangor.

This photograph was taken today at 11:15am!

The burning have already been going on for more than a month. The video will show that the land 'user' is clearing it up to grow some crops. Just because the land is 'under' some high tension wires, namely it belongs to TNB and are being 'squatted' by some bloody fcukers MACC better go investigate! Will upload the video later.

I do not believe that ANY authorities did not see this! He or she must truly be blind! And as if we are not already choking with the imported SMOG! This is NOT peat fire. It is on a hill slope!Really shit!
See, the smoke and the heat that is adding to the already complicated lives around us. Especially for Shah Alam who is going to be more 'heated-up' the coming few days!!!!

History of the World

“The Anals of Mankind”
Maybe....

History of the World according to a (YeweyeTM) student exam papers who now need to write instead of ‘objective’ selections. History lessons are usually from what you read, learn, remember and understand instead of memorizing as if from eg..religious recitals. This could be one of their results.

It is advisable to know human’s early history to enjoy this joke. Go to wikipedia.org if you want to understand further and laugh harder! But then, those from the 'senior cambridge' years in Form 5 schools around 1969 in Peninsular Malaya would know what I mean.

1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in Hydraulics.

They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had Myths. A Myth is a female moth.
5. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
6. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death his career suffered a dramatic decline.
7. Eventually the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for long.
8. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made King. Dying he gasped out: 'Tee hee, Brutus'
9. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw.
Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
10. Another story was William Tell who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his sons head.
11. Queen Elizabeth was the 'Virgin Queen' As a Queen she was a great success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted, "Hurrah!"
12. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of the blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking.
And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
13. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
14. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
15. One of the causes of the revolutionary war was the English put tacks in their tea. Also the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps.
Finally the colonists won the war and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the contented congress. Thomas Jefferson, a virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the declaration of independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, 'A horse divided against itself cannot stand' Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
16. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German and half Italian and half English. He was very large.
17. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died from this.
18. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steam boat caused a network of rivers to spring up.
19. Louis Paster discovered a cure for rabbis.
Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Mark Brothers.
20. The first world war, (WW1) caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.

One can just imagine the standard of Malaysian's "Engrish" in years to come!FINITO! (All pictures courtesy of Googles Images...all of 'em!)

A Classic Joke

ROOM SERVICE
"...tenjewberrymuds..."

This is a classic real life 'joke' which was published in the Far Eastern Economic Review (FEER) way back in the late '80s. It came out again on the internet when it started during the dial-up era. I like it so much that I like to share with our readers. This is also looking forward to our standard of spoken "England" here in Malaysia's future!
The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia.
To get the full effect it should be read aloud. [You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation.]

Room Service (RmSv): Morrin!... Roon sirbees.
Guest: Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service.
RmSv: Rye...Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor suntheen?
Guest: Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs.
RmSv: Ow July den?
Guest: What??
RmSv: Ow July den?.....pryed, boyud, poochd?
Guest: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.
RmSv: Ow July dee baykem? ...Crease?
Guest: Crisp will be fine.
RmSv: Hokay. An Sahn toes?
Guest: What?
RmSv: An toes. July Sahn toes?
Guest: I don't think so.
RmSv: No? Judo wan sahn toes??
Guest: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means.
RmSv: Toes! toes!... Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?
Guest: English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.
RmSv: We bodder?
Guest: No...just put the bodder on the side.
RmSv: Wad?
Guest: I mean butter... just put it on the side.
RmSv: Copy?
Guest: Excuse me?
RmSv: Copy...tea...meel?
Guest: Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all.
RmSv: One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy...rye?
Guest: Whatever you say.
RmSv: "...tenjewberrymuds..."
Guest: You're very welcome.

Welcome Buddy!

Long-tailed Tailor Bird
Orthotomus sutorius
This is our new visitor. It must be the Smog that made this little twitter ended up in our home here in Klang. We have not see her before. We just loved to hear her high pitched twittings whenever she drops by.
Also due to the clearing of the vast tract of belukar (forrest) behind our home, this little bird have no where to go! On our lane, both the side and front, only our 3 trees (two mango trees and a moringa tree) is the tallest. Co-incidentally, these are the only trees growing here!
Many thanks to our fellow birder Mr. Ooi Chong Seng P.P.N. (his web page here) for his help. We deeply appreciate his identification of our new comer.

Unhygenic Trolleys!

Wake Up, TESCO!

I have been observing that many hypermarts do not clean up their trolleys. Some supermarts just leave the entire cluster out in the rain so that it can 'automatically' be washed by mother nature!

At TESCO, I made an official complain months ago after finding one (the damn lazy workers did not refill them at the area for customers to take) in the covered car park but was in an unhygenic condition which was filthy! There were unwanted leaflets strewn about, a cup of spilt milk (or something dreadful like baby's vomit!!) and guess what? A USED BABY DIAPER!

A USED BABY DIAPER!!! Damn it TESCO! It sure contains Baby's SHIT!!!!!
Are we supposed to use this to help us carry our foodstuff while shopping?
Hey TESCO, I have made a complain but months after, we still see the trolleys unclean!
I even cautioned the 'foreign worker' about this but he was rude! I strongly believe he does not care about it. I also believe that these 'damned workers' are from a third world country and may be eating shit for meals! It was pure filthy mind you! If they do not care for ours and our country's health, they should pack up and leave.

Just stop opening up so many hypermarts and employs 'foreigners' who also eat our already shortaged food-stuff, breath our already polluted air, drink our already polluted water and taking away our precious jobs!

Please don't blame the public (I have given up hope on most of them anyway). It is the duty of the outlet to provide us clean (and working!) trolleys anyway.
With diseases like the H1N1 on the prowl, things like this would make it worst!
Want to see these dirty trolleys for yourselves? Just go to TESCO Setia Alam, Klang!
Go there at peak periods! You will never be dissapointed!

Shame on you TESCO! You are supposed to be a multi-national company with good international standards. I am a regular shopper there and you owe me an explaination!

Bad Saturday!

BIG BAD FLU!
Remember the warning?

Remember the advices people were giving about the Big Bad Flu?
Seriously, just how many of us really remember all the good suggestions made?
We Malaysian do really have short memories do we?

Woke up this morning and received a call from a relative. Their two kids now are suspected having the 'big bad flu'. Have already been sick for two weeks. Been to the doctor and have been taking their medications but the sore throat came on and off. Strangely, I noticed the family's taking things "light and easy". Like still going to the hypermart, shopping, movies, also to school.
Now both of them started coughing! Their lungs are infected says the doctor.
WTF!
Now both of them are given medical 'leave' for 5 days. This is 'self quarantine'.
What is next after the 5 days?

At 2pm, while chatting with a fellow blogger, he mentioned that his wife and kid also kena bad cough last night. Their doctor also said something about their lungs and the 'big bad flu' today.
Then half an hour ago, two friends who are also my blog reader called up about their family doctor's visit hours ago. All kena the flu! No wonder, bloggers also missing already!
WTF!
It looks like it is going to be an interesting week ahead!!!!!
What else can we say?

My advice to those who are very concern is this:-

1) Stop taxing your body's immune system. Cut off ALL processed food you are eating everyday such as KFC, McD, man-made-convenient food like mee, bihun, cakes, processed sugar, processed salt, canned drinks, meat, milo, instant noodles, & instant everything!!!!
2) Give your body a time to heal by eating ONLY natural food like natural fruits and vegetables.


3) Plenty of rest and sleep and pure drinking water. (Not mineral water mind you !)
4) Switch off that damned "Air- conditioner"! You really can sleep without it. Wear thinner clothes
not only it is sexier, it is much cooler too! You will soon forget about that 'flu'! and remember to chuck that 'bloody' thick comforter,
out of the bedroom! Switch on the fan and use a thinner 'towel-like' blanket if you have to!
5) Stay OUT of crowded places. Serious!
6) Eat IN. Do not eat OUT!
7) Wear that mask for your own sake! Use this if you have to!
Do all this for two weeks. I sincerely think you would be able to feel better.
To those unfortunate friends who are going thru such period, please stay positive and fight this ordeal.

All the best!

It's Foodie Time!

Best Curry Laksa in
Klang 2009

Since we moved to Klang, we have been seeking for 'that' perfect hawker food from various stalls around town. Klang already have its share of the famous Bak Kut Teh and trying out the other favourites are quite a chore.
Earlier in our postings of July and of last week's, we now feature one of our favourites.
The Curry Laksa Mee (chinese version).

Being a KLites, many are used to the thick and creamy curry soup as the ones commonly found in PJ. One of the famous one is the shop in OUG. The one at Glenmarie is ok but very spicy (as in spices). A bit over the top.

We like this Klang's stall. It is just right. It is not as light as the Penang's curry mee but somewhere in between. It has a strong taste of serai (lemon grass), lengkuas (gelangal) and natural kunyit (turmeric). Our vote is this for the last 4 years.


Yummy

Here's the Video.

Swinging Telephone Pole!

Still at it after
All These Years!!


Below is a copy of a video clip which I shot more than 2 years ago but the pole is still hanging and swinging this afternoon.It was confirmed that the house owner made sixteen calls for the many years BUT nothing have been done!!! It could be no funds, no no no manpower, equipment blah, blah....but I sincerely believe that the contractor is just DARN TOO LAZY to do anything but
Gaji mahu ambek!!!!! So, customer susah. Just like everything else in this Malaysia Bolehland.

It must be stringing all them super broadband speed cables thus so strong!!!!

Malaysian Drivers

FCUK Da Lights!
This is an old Video Clip shot with my old video camera but I believe, traffic laws, however old must be adhered to , now and in the future. Just watch the vehicle in front of us and also da bikers!
Rules were broken here but where are da cops?
1) Beating the traffic lights.
2) Illegal U-Turn.
3) crossing a double white line.

This happened along Jalan Haji Sirat, Klang Utara on the 11th. September, 2007.


It looks like many Malaysian drivers also Fcuk da Traffic Laws and da Polis!!!!!
What proof do anyone need anymore?
"Malaysia Boliau"

18As!

The objective of STPM
is to pass people?

How do you explain the fact that 87% of the students passed the exams of the Sijil Tinggi Persekolahan Malaysia (STPM) recently, when during your father's time only 10% would have passed?

Are students getting smarter? Or are STPM questions getting easier?

Let me put things in their proper perspective. During your grandfather's time, they would ask exam questions like: "In what year did Parameswara founded the kingdom of Melaka ?"
The correct answer was "1402", and they found that only 10% of the students managed to answer the question correctly. This didn't go down too well with the authorities, because the objective of the exams was to pass people. I mean, what's the point of having exams if people fail?
So later, they found another way to ask the same question:
"Parameswara founded the Kingdom of Melaka in the year:
(a) 2007, (b) 2004, (c) 1996, (d) 1989, (e) 1402. Tick the correct answer."
The results were better in that 20% of the students passed.

But it was still not good enough, so the authorities tried a different tactic a few years later.
"Parameswara founded the kingdom of Melaka in the year 1402. True or false?"
Well, half of the students guessed "True" and the other half guessed "False". Fully 50% passed.
The results were getting pretty acceptable by now but still not good enough. Most other countries would be satisfied with a 50% passing rate, but not us. We are a better country, because we are a 'boleh' country.

The authorities then cracked their heads and then came out with this one:
Read the following sentence carefully.
"Parameswara, the cousin of Proton-Iswara, founded the Kingdom of Melaka in the year 1402.
Underline the name of the person who founded Melaka."
60% underlined "Parameswara", 30% underlined "Proton-Iswara" and 10% underlined "1402".
Yeah!!!!....60% managed to pass! So krever!

But for some reason, the authorities were still not contented. So last year, they came out with this gem:
"One day in the year 1402, Parameswara founded the kingdom of Melaka. Then he went home to have dinner. What did he eat?"
13% (smart students) handed in blank answers,
57% wrote "Maggi Mee",
10% wrote "Kentucky Fried Chicken"
and 20% wrote "Nasi Lemak".
The correct answer was anything concerning "Food" of course!
After the marking was over, it was found that 87% of the students had passed. 87%!!!!!............now that's pretty impressive!

So it's true.
So now the authorities are very happy that the students are indeed getting smarter?
Well done Boleh-land!

Perhaps, this is why we have a host of students with an impressive string of 'As' who can hardly construct a decent sentence!

Neow mind, our super-duper gomen can find a job for us one.

Duh……"Malaysia Boleh" !

(Many thanks to lieson for the above joke! Pictures are from Google Images...Any references made to any person/s ....living or dead are purely co-incidental...Ed)

To Cheer Up Your Monday Blues

Smart Arse?
Wow factor

A farmer named Lakbir Singh was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in Bolehland when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young Malay man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes,
Stylo RayBan sunglasses
and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the farmer, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd,
will you give me a calf?"

Lakbir looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
connects it to his Cellcom RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite
to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo..
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within mere seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data is stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry
and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the farmer and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Lakbir.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Lakbir says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a graduate from Oxford and a Member of Parliament for Umno," says Lakbir.

"Wow! That's correct," exclaims the yuppie with the customary Umno's Wow Factor, "But how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required," answered Lakbir. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, and to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter you are, and you don't know a thing about cows. This is a herd of goats .
Now give me back my dog."
Ka!Ka!Ka!.........

(The above joke was sent to me by CSF/LSH via email this morning. All pictures by Google Images. Any resemblances to person/s dead or alive......are purely co-incidental......Ed.)