This is a classic real life 'joke' which was published in the Far Eastern Economic Review (FEER) way back in the late '80s. It came out again on the internet when it started during the dial-up era. I like it so much that I like to share with our readers. This is also looking forward to our standard of spoken "England" here in Malaysia's future!
The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia.
To get the full effect it should be read aloud. [You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation.]
Room Service (RmSv): Morrin!... Roon sirbees.
Guest: Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service.
RmSv: Rye...Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor suntheen?
Guest: Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs.
RmSv: Ow July den?
RmSv: Ow July den?.....pryed, boyud, poochd?
Guest: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.
RmSv: Ow July dee baykem? ...Crease?
Guest: Crisp will be fine.
RmSv: Hokay. An Sahn toes?
RmSv: An toes. July Sahn toes?
Guest: I don't think so.
RmSv: No? Judo wan sahn toes??
Guest: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means.
RmSv: Toes! toes!... Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?
Guest: English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.
RmSv: We bodder?
Guest: No...just put the bodder on the side.
Guest: I mean butter... just put it on the side.
Guest: Excuse me?
Guest: Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all.
RmSv: One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy...rye?
Guest: Whatever you say.
Guest: You're very welcome.